Authored By Keera Godfrey, EdD

Despite our differences, we are all human, and it’s our humanity that holds the greatest power to bind us together. Regardless of where we come from, where we are, or what we look like, our humanity, as expressed and felt through our emotions, helps us navigate the world around us. More than ever in our lifetime, we are faced with challenging events that spark an array of emotions, some at the same time. Whether now or in the past, we can identify with sorrow, sadness, happiness, joy, anxiety, grief, fear, love, compassion, stress, and countless other feelings. These shared human emotions connect us, especially when we are self-aware of our emotions as they occur, and can pin-point others’ emotions in the moment.

What is empathy?

Empathy is the ability to recognize and acknowledge the emotion another human is feeling. It’s the basis of relationship building and conflict resolution. Being empathetic is like having a human-connection superpower… and it’s a skill that can be learned. Which is great, because at work or at home, employing empathy is the key to navigating nearly every kind of situation involving humans.

In most cases, to understand how someone is feeling, we have to stretch ourselves and adapt to do either one of two things: we can try to imagine how we would feel if we were in the same situation, or we can tune ourselves into the situation and closely observe the person’s behavior to decipher the emotion they’re likely feeling. See? It’s a superpower.

The other part of being empathetic is the willingness to engage in real and honest conversations, even about difficult topics. We know emotions can be volatile, which can make us apprehensive and enticed to disengage. This is where it often gets uncomfortable. However, this is also the space where empathy can become a superpower for those who feel hesitation. Empathy can help us overcome many common fears, as seen in the chart below:
A fear of…

• Rejection turns into acceptance
• Not knowing exactly what to say turns into speaking confidently in any situation
• Further exacerbating a situation turns into an ability to calm and diffuse a situation
• Not truly understanding what someone is feeling turns into being socially aware and discerning
• Being perceived as too emotional turns into maintaining self-control
• Being perceived as not in control of a situation turns into leading with confidence

6 Ways to Approach Sensitive Conversations

The wonderful part about our humanity is resilience, and our ability to act despite discomfort. I believe we are all born with instincts that help us respond appropriately in all situations. However, due to external factors, our humanity may become clouded, which lessens our confidence in our ability to trust our instincts. I would like to encourage us all to step past fear with these six tips for opening up a dialogue or engaging with others.

1. Validate what you perceived or heard. Simply ask questions to confirm or acknowledge the emotion. It is not about agreeing with the feeling or judging why it exists. You are simply confirming the information you received. You may say, “My perception is that you may be feeling uncomfortable, am I correct?” or “I imagine that you may be sad – how are you really feeling?” Or “I heard you say that you are angry, would you like to talk about it?”

2. Explain how you feel. One way to start a conversation is to explain how you are feeling in the present situation. Making the first move to be transparent may be a great way to model the openness and candor you are seeking. Theodore Roosevelt said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Care is the precursor for real conversation. Be willing to share first .

3. Ask before touching. There are some personality types who express emotions and connect with others through touching and hugging. If this is you, simply pause and ask for permission to reach in for a hug. Ask, “Is it okay for me to give you a hug right now?” Or, “I tend to touch and give hugs to connect with family and friends, feel free to tell me if you’re uncomfortable with that.”

4. Offer space to process. People may need additional time to process what they are feeling. Despite your desire to engage in conversation, you should allow others to connect with their own emotions about a situation. You may say, “If you need time to process what’s happening, I’m here for you whenever you’re ready to talk,” or, “If you need a sounding board as you think aloud, I am here.”

5. Be willing to listen. We have heard the “Golden Rule” before, which is to treat others the way you want to be treated. But the way you want to be treated may differ from others. Be willing to really listen to others and comply with their preferences. This creates an atmosphere for real dialogue and rapport.

6. Be flexible to the next move. We should not try to force our way into someone else’s world. Attempts to do so are likely to be viewed as insincere, pushy, and disingenuous. Instead, it’s better that we are patient and move at the pace others are comfortable. You might say, “Is it alright with you if I check in on you tomorrow or next week?” When we see others who are struggling, the desire to help is natural. However, we should not assume to know the reason or the solutions. When engaging in a conversation, you might say, “What may I do to help you through this tough time?”

Humans are complicated beings and our lives are dynamic (and dramatic!). So many factors influence our emotions. An important aspect of leading with empathy is to create an environment where each person feels safe to talk and engage at the pace most comfortable for them. However , when we do this, we fuel ourselves and others, and tap into the best of our humanity.

Want to learn more about engaging employees with empathy? Drop us a message using the form below.

The 2024 Excellence in Learning & Performance Awards are open to leaders of color who have led innovation, built momentum, or overcome barriers resulting in healthier, higher-performing organizations. The selection criteria are based on the scope of impact, the realization of greater potential of people in the workforce, innovation, and overcoming barriers either personally or for individuals impacted by the recipient’s work. The 2024 Excellence in Learning & Performance Award Recipients are:

Michelle Orro

Michelle Orro serves as the Manager of Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion at HelloFresh. She began her journey as a Senior Business Analyst, where she leveraged her analytical skills to establish DEI benchmarks and metrics that informed strategic decision-making. In her current role, Michelle drives initiatives in talent attraction, development, and engagement, focusing on partnerships across functions and Employee Resource Groups (ERGs). She manages high-impact projects, such as developing inclusive hiring programs and implementing data-driven solutions to improve employee belonging and retention. By combining empathy with a data-focused approach, Michelle uplifts employees so everyone can bring their full selves to work.

Seth Yelorda

Seth Yelorda is the Founder and CEO of Vision Clarity. Seth is a transformative leadership advocate dedicated to helping leaders and organizations reach their full potential through developing leaders, cultivating extraordinary employees, and helping organizations strategically grow. He has played a pivotal role in enhancing leadership at Kaiser Permanente and other notable institutions through strategic planning and coaching. Seth holds an MBA and an MA in Organizational Psychology and is completing his PhD. Based in Riverside, California, he values work-life balance and believes in fostering environments where both individuals and organizations can thrive.

The 2024 recipients were recognized on September 26 at an awards luncheon during the 2024 EXLEARN Conference hosted at Great American Ball Park.

The 2023 Excellence in Learning & Performance Awards are open to leaders of color who have led innovation, built momentum, or overcome barriers resulting in healthier, higher-performing organizations. The selection criteria are based on the scope of impact, the realization of greater potential of people in the workforce, innovation, and overcoming barriers either personally or for individuals impacted by the recipient’s work. The 2023 Excellence in Learning & Performance Award Recipients are:

Clare Jeong

Clare Jeong serves as Senior Manager, Talent Management at HelloFresh. Prior to her current role, Clare served at WarnerMedia playing a strategic role in WarnerMedia’s talent and performance practice. Clare was nominated for the metric and data expertise that she has brought to talent reviews. The dashboards that she developed are used to reveal potential biases and talent gaps. They are now being used to train leaders to have more meaningful talent discussions and make data-driven talent decisions.

Ebony M. Lewis

Ebony Lewis serves as Director of Continuing Medical Education & Professional Development at Northwest Permanente. Ebony created frameworks that center the experiences of marginalized communities and practical solutions that advance healthcare through learning. In addition, she founded the Professional Development Institute at Kaiser Permanente, an annual summit that has provided the opportunity for more than 3,800 employees to develop meaningful relationships, build skills, and lead from where they are.

Michael Shebe

Michael Shebe serves as Director of Shared HR Group Services – North America at Würth Group of North America Inc. In this role, Michael supports more than 30 operating companies from a training, development, and human resources perspective. Michael holistically looks at each situation to develop the needed suite of tools, processes, and anchors for change. In addition, Michael has systematically used employee engagement data to strategically map improvement processes and investments for the organization’s companies.

Mallori Steele

Mallori Steele is the Founder of Black in L&D, a community that supports, connects, and celebrates Black professionals in the L&D industry; and CEO of Growductive Consulting, a talent development consulting agency. Mallori was nominated for her work to empower individuals and drive positive change, inclusion, and equity. Not only has Mallori advocated for representation and raised awareness about unique challenges faced by Black professionals, she has facilitated the development of a community of more than 3,000 where she fosters excellence and empowerment, provides resources, mentorship, and networking opportunities that are crucial for career advancement.

The recipients were recognized on September 27 at an awards banquet during the 2023 EXLEARN Conference hosted at Great American Ball Park.

The 2022 Excellence in Learning & Performance Award are open to persons of color who have led innovation, built momentum, or overcome barriers resulting in healthier, higher-performing organizations. We are grateful to everyone who submitted a nomination for the awards. Recipients were selected based on the reach and impact of their work. The 2022 Excellence in Learning & Performance Award Recipients are:

Tameka J. Harris, MS

Tameka J. Harris serves clients as Managing Director, Learning Program Design at IDSuccess Design Studio, a learning and development company that converts content into premium courses, custom training, and signature learning programs. In addition, she serves as a contributing faculty member in the Master of Science Learning Design & Technology (MSLDT) program at the University of San Diego. Tameka was nominated for her work to found The Instructional Design Club on Clubhouse to support teachers transitioning to instructional design—a club that still supports 4,000 members.

Breanna Jackson, MBA, SHRM-CP

Breanna Jackson serves the most diverse county in Oregon as the Learning and Development Program Manager of Washington County. A Gallup-certified Strengths coach, Breanna is also founder and Chief Learning Officer of The Refining Company, where she supports individuals and teams to understand their value through strength-based development. Her nominated shared that Breanna’s work rooted in her coaching/mentoring expertise and her desire to help people be their best selves has positively impacted the foundational culture of Washington County.

Heather Lee

Heather Lee serves as People & Organization Business Partner at Sony Pictures Entertainment. Prior to her current role, Heather served at WarnerMedia where she led the development of a coaching-based leadership program in partnership with BetterUp. The program focused on developing the whole person, both personal and professional, and was based on the foundation that mental health and well-being underpinned performance. She was nominated because of her deep expertise and passion, coupled with the program’s high success indicators.

Ankit Shah, MED, MA (He/Him/His)

Ankit Shah serves as Supervisor, Talent Development for the Organizational Development & People Analytics department at Columbus State Community College. He serves as VP of Programming for Human Resources Association of Central Ohio (HRACO) and is a Special Interest Group leader for diversity & inclusion area for Central Ohio Association of Talent Development (COATD), to name just a couple of his accolades. In addition to facilitating conversation on LinkedIn, Ankit was nominated for his Impactful thought leadership and work focused on belonging and diversity, equity, and inclusion.

Join us in congratulating the award recipients for their collective impact and innovation. In order to shine a spotlight on their work, each individual will receive an award package that highlights their learning and performance work and thought leadership.